Making it up

Just another pretty face?

Sometimes I’m amazed at how a single moment can send the mind wandering to peculiar places. To wonder about things poignant and trivial that never seemed worthy of a thought. My moment happened last week as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, grabbed a tube, and began to slather skin moisturizer all over my face as part of my daily makeup routine. But it wasn’t face cream; it was toothpaste.

After I stopped laughing aloud and dousing my face with water, I could have thought about many things – like, what’s wrong with me? Do I need new glasses? Should I see a mental health professional about this? Instead, I started thinking about why women do such rituals in the first place. Lipstick, rouge, mascara, eyeliner, face creams. My first thought was about our animal nature. After all, in many species, color and decoration are part of sexual attraction that encourages the selection of a mate and breeding. A survival mechanism. I thought I’d do some research and find a few interesting examples of extreme decoration (by either males or females) to share with you. Instead, I uncovered a uniquely human history of makeup over eons of evolution. And yes, today, it’s predominantly about women declaring their status, attracting mates, boosting self-esteem, and defying the aging process.

But guys! You may have started the practice long, long ago with your Neanderthal ancestors. Archeologists in Spain discovered that some males applied yellow, red, and black pigments to their skin around 50,000 years ago. They kept their stash of face paints in sea shells – not unlike how women today store theirs in pretty but pricey bottles. And your Egyptian hominid predecessors went several steps further. Evidence of male makeup use starts in about 2650 BC, with dudes using color to create the effect of “almond eyes” that were popular at the time. The color was initially a masculine black and made from khol – an element that contained a measure of lead which, as we now know, is hazardous to health. But mixed with oils and fat, the makeup also protected ancient males from harmful rays of the Egyptian sun. Males stepped up the look by developing a flattering shade of green eye paint from malachite and, yes, also used red ochre for their lips and cheeks. Men in ancient Rome continued and expanded the use of makeup to include face powder, rouge, and a special blend of pig fat and blood that combined to make masculine nail ‘polish.’

And to bring some of that tradition forward a few millennia and to the New World, remember that Native American men adorned themselves with paint for religious, cultural, and offensive-defensive reasons. These traditions have been revered and kept alive in America for many centuries.

From ancient Egyptians to today and into tomorrow, it’s women, however, who’ve inherited the burden and gift of makeup. Respectable women in early Rome were discouraged from painting their faces because they risked being identified as sex workers. During some eras, makeup implied a shallow spirit and negative characteristics – like selfishness and vanity. Even Queen Victoria of England disapproved of women who painted their faces, and during her 19^th-century reign, the practice went underground.

But by the 1920s, the cosmetic industry was loaded and ready to take on the western world. Alluring advertising, a boom of new products, movie stars on the silver screen and pictured in magazines. Examples of the miracle of makeup grabbed hold and never let go. Painted women were no longer looked at as brazen hussies – not with the likes of Greta Garbo, Gloria Swanson, and Norma Shearer staring at them with smoky eye shadow and deeply red lips. Suddenly, makeup became an essential element to being an attractive woman in America. In response, the industry boomed with the birth of companies that still dominate the market today. In my small hometown of Winona, Minnesota, we had only one identifiable brand name – The R. j. Watkins Company – that launched Mary King Cosmetics and swept across the country in the 1930s (and is still sold online in 2023). And today? Well, cosmetics that promise miracles such as defying age, improving skin, making women more attractive are a necessary part of everyday life for most women.

But all that history still didn’t answer my question about the psychological aspects of the practice that led me to paint my face with Crest. As big-brained, two-legged mammals, I’m thinking our rational selves might have questioned the sales pitch for vanity products – minds over marketing myth. And it turns out people whose job it is to think about such things have a few ideas. The magazine “Psychology Today” offered a few data-driven conclusions. Such as women wearing red lipstick were approached more quickly by men than were those wearing a shade of pink; foundation makeup smooths out skin tone and enhances a look of “health and symmetry;” eye shadow, liner, and mascara may create an impression of childlike, wide-eyed children and be youthfully appealing; blush on cheeks may be “a subtle sign of sexual interest or arousal”; and finally, makeup can create an aura of health, confidence, and strength. All this adds up to essential survival – choosing mates with characteristics that favor species survival.

Of course, men play a role in sustaining humankind – and don’t need jars, sticks, creams, lotions, and face masks to accomplish it. The division of ‘labor’ in their role may be expressed by showing physical (or intellectual) strength, wealth, and other attractive traits that make them good mates.

Some of this makes sense when we look at the elements of evolution and our built-in survival instinct. Yes, we are conscious of individual health and well-being, but the drive to mate well is embedded in our DNA. So we do what works. And apparently, for Americans and in many other cultures, women display their colors just like male peacocks do – bright, healthy, capable of passing along genes for survival well beyond our individual lifetimes.

Now, that doesn’t completely answer the question of why I slathered Crest Whitening Toothpaste on my face. In my defense, the facial product was in a white tube the same size as the toothpaste. And, when I listen to my critical mind, I even wonder if the Crest – costing about $3.50, may have worked just as well as the $40 tube of ROC - clinically proven Retinol Correction Cream. But being a product of my species, I probably can’t resist the hope that comes wrapped inside the much more expensive package.

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Thanks for spending your time with me! I hope your environment is a bit calmer than mine - going from epic snow to a predicted atmospheric river! But I’m always happy communicating with you - no matter what’s happening outside my window.

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