Can’t we all Just Get Along?

A conscious choice

Over the past few years, I've felt myself going from baffled to shocked and now deeply concerned. I was once an involved professional engaged in reporting (among other things) government and politics. As a reporter for a largely conservative daily newspaper in California, part of my job took me to the state capitol building to keep track of who was doing what to state policies and politics. The beat required endless hours in hearing rooms and tight reporting deadlines – stories were not yet sent via that thing called the Internet. That meant taking notes and drafting some stories by hand to later enter into basic computers, then called Work Stations, in the newsroom. Sometimes, I'd be relegated to sitting on a bench in a marble Capitol hallway to write my notes and start stories.

That was before one conservative Assembly member asked if I'd like to use a vacant desk in his office. I was grateful and took advantage of his offer several times – with no exchange for favorable coverage of his performance as a lawmaker. The same was true in our newsroom. I was surrounded by opinion writers and reporters who leaned to the political right. But we respected each other and went out after filing our day's stories to share a drink at a nearby watering hole.

Well, that era seems to be over. Today, folks feel free to drive sharp spikes between conservatives and liberals like they're barricaded enemies. How did that happen? Is it a natural state or manufactured by a partisan plan? Turns out, it's mostly the latter.

I slogged through many neutral, trustworthy resources on the origins of the human psyche, and there's agreement that (sadly) our mental leanings toward a conservative or liberal point of view are onboard at birth. Since my sources necessitated reading dense papers with scientific terminology, I had to ask Google to translate lots of the references in the analyses. I'll spare you that by leveraging my former experience teaching English as a second language to immigrant students. Because, indeed, scientific jargon is a foreign language for most of us.

Here's an oversimplified description: The left and right amygdala are brain regions that regulate various emotions. The right portion processes emotions like fear and evaluating threats. The left side more easily accepts ambiguity – or uncertainty. Obviously, humans need both systems working to survive threats. But we're born with a dominance of one side over the other – perhaps making us lean politically right or left.

 Another more easily understood  explanation comes from Psychology Today – based on brain research findings and no medical-speak:

"Conservatives and liberals interact with groups and address their members' welfare differently. Conservatism is avoidance-based -  focused on preventing societal losses. It accomplishes that by regulations, restrictions, and inhibitions. Liberalism is approach-based - focused on positivity and societal gains and thus regulates via interventions instead of tight restrictions. Furthermore, conservatives are concerned with marking clear inter-group boundaries, whereas liberals focus on intragroup variability and interdependence."

There's no moral judgments in these findings, and most of the time, Americans have been able to accept differences and overcome them through negotiation and compromise. But what I'm seeing in our current political climate is disregard for the greater good and emphasis on winning points at any cost. Divisiveness versus collaboration.

The country has exploded with hate-driven online forums. Media personalities spew ideas, opinions, and inaccuracies that serve their best interests – truth be damned. In short, there's little middle ground where people of all stripes might meet, agree to disagree and move forward with regard for public good instead of personal interest.

We all have our biases and leanings – to the right and left. It's good to know that some of these preferences come onboard at birth – so that we understand our political and social leanings aren't just a product of considered choice. We all naturally gravitate toward that which suits our best survival instincts – driven, in part, by our brains at birth. At the same time, as big-brained beings, we have the capacity to question our assumptions and understand how someone else can hold differing opinions. This, of course, requires conscious thought and self-examination. Unfortunately, today, there's little to encourage us to take a neutral, analytical approach.

Surely, we're being offered an abundance of channels to support whatever beliefs we might have, thanks to the depth and reach of partisan platforms. Each seeking to draw our attention and support whatever biases we already have. They force us into rival camps of 'us' and 'them.'’ But knowing that our political leanings are malleable and open to self-examination gives us the opportunity to re-think how we express our opinions. With vitriol? Condemnation of the 'other side'? Or with polite acceptance (not necessarily approval) of opposing views.  

I take clues from my own personal experience. I Iive in a conservative environment surrounded by folks who generally resent political liberals (that would be me). But there is an unspoken agreement that, when we interact, our relationship and dependence on each other is more important than polarizing politics. We have a lot in common. We love the rural lifestyle, enjoy Mother Nature, depend on each other for goods and services. We base our relationship on an unspoken agreement. "You're my neighbor; I respect you. And one day, we may need each other."

After all, I didn't strive to be a 'lefty,' and my neighbor didn't have to practice to be a right-winger. But we can both choose to respect our innate differences by calling on our better angels, who are neither red nor blue. The last time I checked with mine, she was a whispy violet. What color is yours?

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Thanks for being with me - you give me something positive to look forward to every week. You help me work things through and talk things out! This week - you’re all my Valentine gift. I hope you are honored on that special day and, in turn, reach out and share some love with someone who may want and need a bit of valentine magic.

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